I know I haven't written much lately, so it feels sort of weird to making a post like this now. The last few months have been extremely busy with me attempting to balance school, dance, other obligations and just time to relax. I hope this year I will be able to write more here because I love and enjoy it.
2015 has officially drawn to an end, and 2016 is here, whether we are ready for it or not. The new year time has often been a time of reflection for me, to help me see how far I have come in the past year and where I want to go in the future. It allows me to really look at the positives and negatives of the year, and from that, I can determine what type of resolutions I want to make.
Looking back at 2015, I see a lot of change in my life - some it good and some of it not so much. Looking at the positives, first, 2015 was a year of growing up and change. I had to make some decisions that were hard for me, but despite it all, I was given the strength to persevere and it ended up alright. I also made a new friend who has been there for me unlike any other person has been before. During the summer, I got my first job babysitting that helped me learn responsibility and work. Sometimes it was exhausting, but for the most part, I loved being with the kids. I learned that I am capable of many things I never thought possible, and that has opened up a world of opportunity.
Of course, this whole year wasn't perfect. Sometimes I doubted myself, and there have been some rough goings. There were times when my faith wasn't as strong as I would have liked it to be. There were many trials, yet despite them all, I have managed to make it through them so far.
As I look onto 2016, I see lots of changes and trials coming. I will be looking at colleges - a new and sort of scary thing for me to be doing. It will all end up with me at the end of the year applying to the colleges I look at near the end of this year; I'm not sure I am ready for that. Transitioning from high school to college is something unknown to me. I'm hoping that by dual enrolling this year, it will give me a taste of college and help me get more comfortable with the college atmosphere. This year, there are also many tests that I have to take in the coming months for school that can determine some things like which colleges, scholarships and stuff. While I dread taking tests like that, I am hoping for the best from them. On top of all of this, I have to sort through daily life and daily struggles. Sometimes it seems overwhelming, but I know I will be able to make it because God will give me the strength to get through it and I am blessed with people in my life whom I can talk through things with.
This year, I am trying to look at the year as a fresh, clean slate with many new opportunities on it. I have started by making some small goal resolutions to work towards and then will progressively add to them throughout the year. While most of my resolutions are personal, one resolution I am willing and able to share is that I want to grow in my faith. This year, I am trying to be more active in my faith by praying more, reading the Bible, journaling and living my faith. One of my friends and I are going to be trying to work on this together, so hopefully that will make me more motivated to follow through. I think that once one has a firm foundation in prayer and trust in God, the other problems and struggles that they deal with will fall more in place and be easier to deal with.
Most of us have grown with the familiar tune, "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands." I have memories of doing this song at Vacation Bible Schools and daycare events when I was little. I always looked forward to the clapping my hands in response to the lyrics. It was easy to say I was happy! There I was, surrounded by my friends, in a place I felt comfortable. I had a family that loved me and was well fed. I had toys and clothes. I was sure that God loved me, no matter what. As we grow older though, what happened to that innocent joy and happiness that was so easy to acknowledge? Did it disappear? Or do the lives we live as we are older block the happiness that we once had easy access to?
So right now, take a moment to imagine the perfect day - a day where everything goes how you want it to. Maybe you wake up and you're not tired. Maybe you don't have to go to school. Maybe it's a day where you have no worries or stresses. Maybe you get to go travel the world and see astonishing sights, or maybe you get to go on a fall hike with your family and friends. Goodness, maybe you even get an unlimited amount of ice cream. Whatever your perfect day is, put yourself in that position and imagine how you feel. Are you content? Are you happy? What else do you feel?
Okay, now wake up. Let's get real: this day that you are imagining is just a dream. It isn't reality. Reality is what you are living right now, and reality can be hard. For some of you, you might be going through a broken relationship, maybe with your friends, a family member or a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others of you may be facing stress, confusion and the helpless feeling of just being lost. Issues in our personal life, in our families, at school and just in our community can drag us down. In the midst of our chaotic lives, we are looking and searching for one thing: to be happy.
We try to make ourselves happy in numerous ways. We wear the latest fashions. We are friends - or sometimes "friends" - with certain people who are "cool" or "popular". We listen to music. We go to certain parties and sometimes try certain things that people say will make us forget about life and help us"let loose". We look for love from a boyfriend or girlfriend. We eat food. We buy the latest technology. We watch movies and TV shows. We fill our lives with so much stuff in an attempt to make ourselves happy, but in the end, does it work?
Many of you reading probably have been trying to satisfy your hunger for happiness in many of the ways I listed above. These things that we are trying, they are what the world tells us will make us happy. Let's evaluate this for a moment. By filling your life with this stuff, are you truly happy? Sure, for the moment while we are doing these things we feel content and filled, but once they pass? Once they pass, we feel empty, like we want more. These things don't fill us and leave us complete. Once they are over, we face reality again. We feel like we have to refill the empty hole in our souls with more stuff that supposedly will make us complete. These things we fill ourselves with don't give us true happiness; they give us pleasure.
I want to take a moment to discuss the difference between "pleasure" and "happiness". By looking only at dictionary definitions of these words, we can begin to see the differences between these words. The Merriam Webster definition of pleasure is "a state of gratification" and "frivolous amusement"; the definition of happiness is "a state of well being and contentment" and "a satisfying experience". Now those definitions might be confusing, so let me explain them more in depth. Pleasure is a feeling that satisfies us - but only for a short amount of time. Once the source of pleasure leaves us, we feel empty, despair and a longing for more. In other words this satisfaction is only temporary. Happiness, on the other hand, fills us. Happiness is a feeling that completely satisfies our hunger for more and we feel content, even after the source of happiness leaves us. So which do you want: pleasure or happiness?
This post is the first part of a bi-part devotional. The next segment will be up within the next week or so, so stay tuned for how you can begin to find the happiness that you long for.
Goodness, I haven't posted anything in a while! Things have gotten busy for me in the past few weeks, but I hope to be posting more in the coming weeks. I have some pictures and stories from a vacation I recently took with my family that I want to get up. Hopefully those will be coming soon!
One of the things that I had been doing the past few weeks was helping out at a summer youth group for middle school students. It's been a rewarding experience, and even though I am there to help, I still learn a lot from the lessons that we teach and the dicussions we begin. Two weeks ago, we showed a video to the kids called The Butterfly Circus. The Butterfly Circus is a short film that follows one man's through his journey from ridicule to greatness, from despair to hope. I'm posting the video below, and I highly recommend that you watch it before reading the rest of this post. If you don't have time to watch the twenty minute video now, I'll summarize below.
The film begins with the Butterfly Cirucs troupe stopping at another circus - a circus that bases its entertainment off of showcasing "freaks of nature" and fortune telling. Mr. Mendes - the ringmaster of the Butterfly Circus - walks into the sideshow and views the bearded lady, the tatooed man and then in the words of the guide "a man that some say even God himself turned His back on." This man named Will and played by Nick Vujicic had no arms nor legs. While the crowd began to murmur, laugh and throw tomatoes at Will, Mr. Mendes just looked on with sadness and wonder and then went to Will to say, "You are magnificient." After being spit on by Will, Mr. Mendes just apologizes and leaves which surprises Will. Intrigued by this man and his work, Will manages to sneak into the Butterfly Circus and becomes a part of their team, but not as a person to be ridiculed. Will watches how the Butterfly Circus performs and brings pure joy to people, not like the "joy" that the other circus brought to people. He is awed by their work and wishes that he could be like them. Then Mr. Mendes takes Will aside and tells him that the people in his circus have all come from a broken past and then says, "See the beauty that comes from ashes...you have an advantage. The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph." Later on, while the troupe is playing in a river, they leave Will alone on the other side, despite his calls for help to cross. When no one hears his cries, Will becomes determined to cross the river on a log despite having no legs or arms to help him. The next thing he knows, he has fallen into the river and in a panic, the troupe begins to search for him. To the surprise of everyone there, Will did not need any help; he could swim! Despite having no arms or legs, Will could do something they never thought possible. The troupe cheered at Will's newfound talent and eventually gave him an act in their circus. After the circus, instead of being laughed at, the cirucs fans crowded around him in wonder and awe. Will had achieved something more than he had ever thought possible.
That's the basic summary of the video, but having rewatched the video multiple times, I've noticed many ideas that this short film is portraying. The Butterfly Circus isn't just about the victory of Will; it's a representation of our lives and what we can do with them with God's help. It shows us that what the world says about us and how we can do so much more than what the world expects. I want to take a closer look at some of the things that The Butterfly Circus represents.
First, I want to compare and contrast the two circuses. The first circus promoted a very different idea than the Butterfly Circus. The first circus used its position in society to ridule those whom they believed did not meet the world's standards. They took joy in other people's pain. They also used it to promote practices such as fortune telling that can be dangerous to one's soul. In other words, this circus tempted people to be the worst version of themselves by making the bad, detrimental things look appealing. In some ways, this circus represents the world. Sometimes the world makes things that can harm us look good. It can tell us lies that sounds like the truth.
On the other hand, we have the Butterfly Circus that is very much different from the first circus. When Will first talked with the Butterfly troupe, he wondered if he could join their sideshow, but Mr. Mendes had told him that there was no sideshow and that they did things differently. This scene always reminds me of Proverbs 14:4. "Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way." The Butterfly Circus is going their own way. They are not like the other circuses around. The joy that they create comes from their God-given talents. They come from true accomplishments, not breaking others down. They bring pure joy to people, a true happiness that lasts. They bring hope, joy, love and the will to do great things. Doesn't this sound like something you want to be around? I would, and this is the genius of teh Butterfly Circus. The Butterfly Circus is almost a representation as what we should be in the world - our mission from Christ. And what better way to do that than by building people up and encouraging them to spread their wings and fly?
The name in "Butterfly Circus" in itself suggests the work that Mr. Mendes intends to accomplish in the lives of others. Think about the life cycle of a butterfly. A butterfly begins as a caterpillar - a lowly creature that seems insignificant. It can only crawl around; others look down on it. This is similar to the stage where Will was in the sideshow at the first circus. The next stage is the cacoon. In this stage, there's a transformation going on. Sometimes, being trapped in a cacoon is a bit uncomfortable; you feel a bit enclosed and trapped. Maybe you don't feel like you quite belong, like you're meant for soemthing more. This is the stage where Will had left the first circus and joined the Butterfly Circus but had no specific role in it; this is where he was searching for who he really was. The last stage to a butterfly is the breaking out of the cacoon, comes out as a butterfly and flies away. No longer is it a simple crawling creature, it is a magnificient being that can soar to higher heights than ever thought possible. This is where Will discovers he can swim; he could do something that no one ever though possible. He had overcome every obstacle that stood in his way to do amazing things.
The next two things I want to look at are the characters of Mr. Mendes and Will. Mr. Mendes was the leader of group of people who did not fit well into society; he welcomed anyone despite their circumstances and helped them do things that they never could have done without his guidance. He led his troupe around the land, bringing comfort to the people and some even thought he did miracles. He did not conform to the world and loved people for who they are. He was once spit on even. Does any of this sound familiar? Mr. Mendes almost seems like Jesus. Like Jesus, Mr. Mendes is a role model for how we are to live our lives: with love, patience, kindness and courage.
On the other hand, we have Will. Will is looked down on by society for not being "normal" because of his lack of limbs. Will is one who believes the lies that the world tells him. He believes he is a freak because that is what he hears. Not until one soul like Mr. Mendes enters his life does he begin to believe that he is capable of doing great things. Once he begins to trust and believe, his will becomes more resolved and he does accomplish things that no one thought he could do. He came from a lowly background with little support to a man that was looked up to in wonder and amazement. When we begin to pray and rely on God, we too can accomplish the great plans that God has in store for us.
While different people will get different things out of this video, here's my take-away points from what I have seen:
Nothing can stop you from being who you are meant to be. The world can't stop you, your friends can't stand you, your parents can't stop you. If God intends for you to do something, you can overcome the obstacles.
No one can define who you are. What Will was called while in the sideshow was not who he was. That was what the world thought, but sometimes, the world is wrong. You're the daughter or son of God!
Despite what the world tells us,we can conquer anything; we can do something in this world.
Whatever stands in your way can be overcome, never let someone tell you what you can do.
"See the beauty that comes from ashes." (Mr. Mendes) The Butterfly Circus troupe was not perfect; they had flaws like you and I, but the difference is that they went above those flaws and used their talents for good. You do not have to be perfect or have everything together to do something in the world.
"The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph." (Mr. Mendes) We all have struggles. Some of us might struggle with looks, others may have family problems. Some may have a physical limitation, others might have an addiction. But despite whatever we are going through, we canovercome them with God's help and the help of those around us. When we triumph over our struggles, they will be more beautiful, more cause to triumph over because of all the dedication and strength we put in to overcoming them.
The Butterfly Circus is definitely a film that can encourage and inspire. While you may have gotten different things out of the video than I did, I encourage you to take another look at where you are in your walk with Christ and to live out the things you have learned. Live them out and do not be ashamed of being different! God has great plans in store for you, and you can accomplish them!
I don't know about you, but I love stories. Whether the stories are completely fictional or based on real life experiences, I am pulled into a world created by words. I walk in the steps of a character, feeling their joys, pains, struggles and triumphs. I feel their apprehension when going to a new school for the first time. I feel their aching when their parents die, leaving them an orphan. I feel their pure happiness when they have accomplished their dreams. Through stories, I am able to see everything in a new light and understand more about the world around me - even if for a few moments - in a new perspective. Stories captivate. They excite. They connect people. They can spur thoughts and resolutions to change one's way of life. Stories will never lose their importance; they have been vital in history and are still relevant in this day and age.
Sometimes as I read or hear stories, I wish that I had a story to tell, something important that can inspire or cause people to think. As I look back on my life so far though, I often don't think there is anything worth telling. I haven't done anything that has changed the world. I haven't won any big, prestigious award. I haven't heroically saved anyone's life. I haven't had any big crazy experience happen to me that has turned my world upside down. Is anything even worth saying? Sometimes it feels like my experiences are just like everyone else's. Why would someone want to hear about my first day of school when they have experienced that too? Why would someone want to hear about my trip to Disney World when it sounds just like everyone else? Why would someone want to hear about my failure? Sometimes, there doesn't seem to be a lot to say about my life. There's no story to tell --- or is there?
One of my many favorite singers is Matthew West. He has many songs that I have just fallen in love with, one especially called The Story of Your Life (which I just so happen to be listening to right now). It talks about how all our lives are a story, that we have a choice in how our story is going to read and how our lives are "a story worth telling."
Through this song and some recent ponderings, I'm beginning to rethink my previous notions. Maybe my life IS a story. Maybe we all have a story to tell, despite thinking that nothing is worth telling. Each of us is here on Earth for a purpose. We all have these experiences we live through, but we experience them differently. The truth is that we are not all the same, and in that, we can all view the same event in a different way. We come into that event with different previous knowledge, feelings and experience. This can make each person experience the event in a different way - a way that some people may not realize it can be experienced as; there are many angles to one thing. Seeing something through the eyes of another, opens our view of the world and how it works. It's important to hear about the different angles so we all see the world in order to grow and to understand better.
Life stories also build a common ground and a connection between people. Our life can help bring people together or can help inspire people. Maybe our life can bring comfort or peace to another. We don't always know what other people are going through when we meet them or just talk to them. Maybe they are struggling with self image or a broken family, maybe they had a rough day at school and work or just experienced the death of a family member. We don't always know this, but if we ever tell our seemingly simple life stories about a time we struggled and made it through or even didn't make it through yet or about anything really, we have the opportunity to maybe encourage another and make them feel as if they are not alone. Stories don't always have to be about a truimph; in fact, maybe it's better if there is no grand truimph. It makes our stories real, not like a fairy tale. As a quote I once saw by Matthew Kelly read, "To be human is to be beautifully flawed," and thus any of our struggles just connects us to the commonality of each and every human person. Our little struggles of seemingly common or unimportant things can make for stories that inspire and comfort the human race.
Each day, we experience thousands of seemingly simple things. These things only seem simple though. Added together, they make up you, and you are special. You have this wonderful story that is being written right now, and stories aren't meant to be hidden; they are meant to be told! They are meant to be shared and used. In your story - the story of your life - you have power. Power? Yes, power! You have the power to make a person smile, to laugh, to cry, to be comforted, to understand, to dream, to have suspense, to be hopeful! Your story - no matter how simple or unimportant it seems - is important and wanted in this world. You do have a story to tell and it's up to you to tell it.
So, is there no story to tell of my life, of your life? No way! We all have a story that has already started to be written, is being written now and will continue to be written. It's up to us to determine what we will do with that story. We have the choice. Are we going to keep that story hidden, or are we going to tell it? I don't know about you, but I want to tell my story. I want my every day experiences to encourage, inspire and cause thought in others.
